hope and hurts

The start of the new year began on such a positive. For the first time in a long while I was optomistic and just full of joy and life felt so good. It's amazing how quickly your whole mentality can change in such a breif period of time (and with no good reason). I am going through quite the valley these days. It is a rocky road and I know it's only going to lead me closer to Jesus when the storms calm...

I have several thorns in my flesh. I can feel them deeply rooted within me and there's no possible way I can figure out how to get them out on my own. I can't say exaclty what it is that I'm going though that seems so difficult, but it's definatly that dreaded time where each day has been absolutely normal and painfully difficult and at times unbearable. There is a lot of stressful circumstances that are consuming me and worries that are plaquing me and doubts hanging over my head.

I hate when I act like this, because I don't know really how to control it. I know where to find my joy, but I'm losing my direction. I know all the answers but I can't apply them to my life. I've been spending a lot of time alone lately and I haven't been good company for myself at all.

So this is when it is good to be reminded that there is strength in weakness...and it's ok to boast in weakness because there you will find strength. I must keep pressing on toward my prize even if I feel like I can't make it. I know it won't be this hard forever. That is the only hope I have.