The dog and the bone

What does any dog want? The love of a kind master and a good bone to chew on...

There once was a dog. This dog had everything he needed to live a happy life. He had a safe doghouse, food and water, and a good size yard to run and play in. He was a pretty happy dog, doing doggy things.
But there was one thing missing that he really wanted. He really wanted a bone. You see for a dog, bones are not always easy to come by. A good bone is a special gift, a reward.
So he tried to be as obedient as he could and maybe, just maybe his master would bring to him a wonderful bone. Many of the other obedient dogs had bones; even dogs that weren't so obedient, like the ones that barked incessantly, chewed up the furniture, or dug holes and buried their masters things. He wimpered with a pang of jealousy everytime he saw another dog receive one. The dog couldn't understand why he never got a bone yet. Sure he had a puny bone or two before, but what he wanted was a honker of a bone. So clearly, if someone stood before him with a bone before him, at this point, he would salivate and go for the bone. Did it mean that the bone would neccessarily be good for him, or that it would have any nutritional value? No, the dog could not comprehend these things, and he only knew of what he tasted before and wanted more of.
Days passed, and still no bone.
Eventually, he tried not to fixate on it and focused on enjoying playing with his ball, and doing what he did best....napping.....waiting.
One day the dog noticed his master off in the distance walking in his direction with something that looked like it could be a bone in his hand. The dog's head momentarily perked up with curiosity and excitement, but just as soon, he put it back down again and closed his eyes, for although maybe it could finally be a bone for him, he could not bear to see his master walk it over to another dog.

Searching for answers....Prayer for direction

This past month has been parodoxial....it flew by and got away from me, but at the same time it's been a long stretch of sameness. I am just going through the motions, neither here nor there...wave tossed in the sea.
My head and my heart and not in agreement and I am just one confused puppy begging for a clarity bone.
My big problem, I think, is that I lack discernment. I hate when I let myself flirt with a fantasy, a chance to explore my indepencence like it would lead to the perfect life that I could only dream of. I can not tell if the things that are on my heart are of my own self-interest, or if they are small glimpses of where God may be leading me. Would this change be an act of obedience or me jumping off the deep end, resulting in a decision I would later come to regret??
There's a fog in my brain...I don't know what I want.

I'm just sick of this world...sick of the injustices, the cruelity, the inhumanity. The innocent being victimized, and the rest of the world looking away....or desensitized. The rapes and the slaughtering, and filth people in Africa are subject to on a daily basis like in Rwanda. The terrorism in London, the bombs, the warfare in Iraq. The families torn apart. The starvation, the abuse, the hatred, the power, the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer....the world has stopped caring. Maybe it never even cared at all....It's everwhere...all over unto the ends of the earth....and I am powerless to stop anything....It's out of my control and out of my hands and my heart greives for people...
And I'm worried about me and when will good things happend for me like an osterich with my head stuck in the sand, I was blinded by my own little world for so long...
Nowhere is good to be...just disgusted with myself, disgusted with this world, and ashamed to be part of it.

Lord, just please, show me what to do! How can I make a difference? How can I better your kingdom? How can I be a faithful servant? What can I do?